Why is my arse the perfect height for kicking?

Dear God,

I know you're a very busy......deity and all, but I'd appreciate it if you could take some time out, (from sticking pins in that little doll that bears a striking resemblance to ME), and try clear a few things up. What the hell (sorry - *blesses self*) is going on? Far be it from me to question Your wisdom, but in all fairness - you just seem to be having a bit of a laugh. Now maybe I wasn't paying much attention the last few months, but somehow, without my noticing it, my life seems to have sloped off out the door and been replaced by a comedy sketch. For instance, last night (Friday night), I found myself at bingo in a bingo hall with old people and everything... It was only shortly after noticing that everyone (except me) had clipboards and blobbers and sucky sweets that I realised that I was in fact in a community centre full of glassy eyed women on a Friday night. And to add insult to (a uniquely non-age-related) injury, I didn't win anything. (And no, I'm not counting the two free bottles of Fruice that the vending machine spat at me as winning).Well, You're a gas man after that.

But seriously, you seem to have dismantled my life piece by piece - I hope you're going somewhere with this.... College is finished, I've moved out (kudos actually:)), I've no job, the summer is stealing my friends and I'm only noticing now. It's like passing out at a party and waking up in a field in the middle of nowhere. Still though, divine plan and all that jazz... just make sure you do something good when you're finished laughing. Thanks God.

Love Yvonne xxxxxxxxxxxxx

P.S. Tell St. Anthony there's a euro in it for him if he can find my navy and cream stripey top...